When managing porn recovery, simple check-in systems like green, yellow, and red days often miss the emotional nuance in between. That’s why we created a five-color check-in system designed to help you and your partner track not just behavior, but emotional mindfulness throughout the day.
This system expands traditional check-ins to include Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange, and Red days — each representing different levels of temptation, emotional awareness, and self-regulation.
🎨 What Is the Five-Color Check-In?
Unlike basic check-ins, this model goes beyond just whether you acted out or not. It includes:
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🔵 Blue: No acting out, minimal urges, with high mindfulness and emotional awareness.
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🟢 Green: No acting out, mild urges easily redirected.
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🟡 Yellow: No acting out, persistent urges, harder to manage.
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🟠 Orange: No acting out, but edging or risky behavior near relapse.
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🔴 Red: Acting out with porn or masturbation.
🧠 Why Mindfulness Matters in Recovery
The key difference? Mindfulness and emotional awareness are central. It’s not just about counting urges or acts but tuning into how you manage your emotions all day. Higher mindfulness often means fewer and less intense urges over time.
🤝 How This Helps Couples Build Trust
This tool works both ways in a relationship. When both partners use it, it encourages:
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Vulnerability
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Compassion
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Honest communication
Rather than judgment or shame, the check-in invites curiosity about emotional states and unmet needs.
You don’t have to wait until the end of the day to check in—you can pause several times daily to assess your feelings. Find what works best for you and your partner, whether it’s a midday phone call, a quick text, or a nightly conversation.
💪 Why This System Builds Courage and Confidence
Increasing mindfulness and adopting a nonjudgmental view of emotions helps build courage to share openly—even on difficult days. Remember:
Even Blue Days may include some minimal urges, which is normal and not a failure. What matters is how you respond.
⏰ When and How to Check In
There’s no “right” way to check in. Some options include:
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🔄 Multiple internal mindfulness check-ins throughout the day
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🌙 End-of-day reflection
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📞 Midday or nightly partner check-ins via call or text
The goal is consistency and discovering what feels safe and supportive for you and your partner.
📥 Download Your Free Five-Color Check-In Chart
Track your progress visually and improve accountability by downloading our free, color-coded check-in chart.
Download the Five-Color Check-In Chart (PNG)
💬 Ready to deepen your recovery and rebuild trust in your relationship?
Contact Big Valley Therapy today to learn how this mindful check-in system and personalized support can help you and your partner heal together.
Don’t wait—take the first step toward emotional clarity and stronger connection now.
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