Grief doesn’t simply disappear. It doesn’t get smaller or fade away. Instead, as Lois Tonkin’s model teaches us, we grow around our grief. 🌿 This means life expands and changes, making room for healing, joy, and new experiences — even as grief remains part of our journey.
Infidelity and the Grieving Process 😞💔
Infidelity feels like losing a part of your past life. It shatters trust and security you once had. Partners often wonder:
When will this pain end? ⏳
Can our relationship ever be fixed? 🔧
Is all hope lost? 😔
For the betrayer, there’s also guilt and uncertainty about whether healing is possible. Healing from infidelity — like grief — doesn’t follow a set timeline. Many betrayed partners hope for a clear timeline with an endpoint, but grief is not linear. It comes in waves 🌊 — sometimes strong, sometimes gentle — and requires patience and ongoing support.
Triggers & PTSD-Like Responses ⚡🧠
Triggers can come from everyday moments — a place, a comment, a memory — turning pain back on like a sudden light switch. 💡 This PTSD-like response can throw betrayed partners back into hurt unexpectedly.
In these moments, the betrayer’s role is key: instead of reacting with frustration, offering empathy, love, and understanding 💖 helps create a pathway to healing. Listening patiently as your partner processes their pain is essential.
Full Disclosure & Rebuilding Trust 🏗️🛠️
Full disclosure lays the foundation of honesty after betrayal. But as explained in Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal (Volume One), even complete transparency doesn’t end the grieving process. It’s just the start — like building a house’s foundation. The relationship “house” still needs consistent effort and time to rebuild trust.
Healing takes patience. Trust is rebuilt through ongoing honesty, accountability, and emotional support. When pain is acknowledged and space is made for healing, couples can work through infidelity’s complexities and grow stronger together. 🌟
Embracing Growth Around Grief 🌳💚
Lois Tonkin’s model reminds us: grief doesn’t vanish, but life grows around it. Infidelity leaves lasting wounds, but it doesn’t mean the end of love or growth. With patience, understanding, and effort, healing is possible. The pain may linger, but so can resilience, trust, and a stronger relationship built with care. 💪❤️
Ready to Heal? Reach Out Today! 🌈✨
If you or your partner are struggling with grief and betrayal after infidelity, know that healing is possible. Reach out to a skilled therapist who can guide you on this journey. At Big Valley Therapy, we specialize in helping couples rebuild trust and grow stronger around their grief. Contact us today to start your path to healing and renewed connection. 💬📞
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