Therapy Insights: Relationships, Recovery & Healing
Big Valley Therapy's blog covers betrayal trauma, pornography addiction recovery, couples communication, and emotional healing — written by Josh Otani, LMFT. Each post is designed to help you understand yourself more deeply, strengthen your relationships, and navigate life's hardest seasons with greater clarity.
Porn addiction recovery and shame often go hand in hand — and […]
Sexual urges in recovery are one of the most common — and […]
Assumptions in communication are one of the most common — and most […]
The difference between internal vs external validation is one of the most […]
We have all been there — staring at a text message from […]
Disagreements are a natural part of every relationship. But communication skills in […]
Have you found yourself apologizing for the same thing again and again […]
“What do I do if I feel like I’m growing faster than […]
When communication breaks down in a relationship, it is easy to slip […]
Breaking free from pornography is not just about saying no to urges […]
“I’ll never be good enough.” “I always fail.” Have you ever had […]
Scrupulosity, also called Religious OCD, is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder where […]
Many couples assume that once they are married, the need to actively […]
Relationships can be challenging under any circumstances — but when one partner […]
Negative self-talk in recovery is one of the most persistent — and […]
Betrayal trauma can leave the injured partner feeling overwhelmed, heartbroken, and genuinely […]
Body image after betrayal trauma is one of the most painful and […]
Bipolar disorder is a complex mental health condition that affects not just […]
We hear the advice constantly: “You just need to compromise.” But in […]
Scrupulosity — a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder focused on religious or moral […]
Have you ever felt stuck in your own head — going around […]
One of the most common questions people have before starting therapy is: […]
At the heart of every family is a collection of unique individuals […]
Emotions have been part of the human experience since the beginning — […]
“Can’t you just be my therapist?” If you have ever asked this […]
Attunement is the foundation of emotional intimacy in relationships. It means genuinely […]
Have you ever noticed how the things you fear most often seem […]
Words have enormous power in relationships — and few words cause more […]
When a thought, flash, or trigger to view pornography enters your mind, […]
“You didn’t act like this before you were married.” If you have […]
When a relapse or slip occurs in sexually compulsive behavior, the natural […]
In many relationships — especially during arguments — couples fall into a […]
Betrayal trauma healing is rarely a straight line. For the betrayed partner, […]
Anxiety tends to live in the future. Depression tends to live in […]
“Will sex ever feel normal again?” It is one of the most […]
When it comes to trauma therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) […]
Sexual compulsive behaviors — including pornography use and infidelity — are often […]
“Are we even compatible?” It is one of the most common questions […]
When infidelity enters a relationship, the betrayed partner often reaches a moment […]
Grief after infidelity does not disappear. It does not shrink. It does […]
When couples come into therapy after betrayal trauma, they are often overwhelmed […]
Dating can feel exhausting when you keep encountering people who do not […]
When one partner is working to stop pornography use, a common question […]
Many people in recovery from sexual compulsive behaviors believe they lack confidence […]
Have you ever noticed how a hard day seems to end in […]
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is widely recognized as one of […]
The way you relate to connection — whether you see it as […]
Recovering from infidelity or sexual compulsive behavior is one of the hardest […]
When you were a child, your sense of worth was likely more […]
The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model describes the Self as having eight […]
When emotions escalate during an argument, the instinct is often to push […]
“Why would my partner relapse when they know how much it hurts […]
In recovery circles, few questions generate more debate than this one: “Am […]
When an urge to view pornography arises, the instinct is often to […]
In every relationship, some of the most persistent arguments come down to […]
Have you ever noticed how the harder you try not to think […]
When an affair happens, the instinct to assign blame is immediate and […]
“Did you truly love me?” It is one of the most agonizing […]
“Can trust ever really come back?” It is one of the first […]
Most people have a rough sense that guilt and shame are different […]
One of the most common sources of unnecessary conflict in relationships is […]
In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, the Self is understood as the […]
In any relationship, misunderstandings are inevitable. The question is not whether they […]
When someone begins working on sexually compulsive behavior, two words come up […]